In this blog, I want to talk about enacting change.
I’ve been working on issues in my head for a while now, and I feel like I’m hitting a point that I’ve practiced enough. It’s time to put some things to practice to see how far I’ve come, and how far I have to go.
I’ve been riding a positive wave of energy and mood lately, and that has really made me want to accomplish things. My self confidence is feeling higher than it has in a while, which has been a nice feeling. This newfound energy has given me the energy to fight off my depression a little easier, which is huge.
Some of you may not know that I’m an artist. I’ve taken a lot of classes in the art realm, but never got my diploma from college. This part of things is actually a two-headed issue. I haven’t been drawing regularly in years, and I really would like to complete my degree. I’m going to focus on trying to do some drawing and get back into the habit of drawing something more regularly. If I can’t do this step, going back to college is pointless.
The next area I’d like to make a change in is my lack of driving. I’m getting to a point that it seems more and more necessary. Not to mention it would make my attempts at dating easier. This one is going to be very difficult for me, because of how afraid I’ve been of it over the years. I don’t have a plan of action for this yet, but I want to make this happen.
Another goal is to get my own place again. I miss having the freedom that having your own place affords you. Plus, much like driving, it helps the dating situation more than living with others does. I just want the feeling of something being mine again, as well as stuff like being able to cook food that I want, instead of cooking for a few people, having more room to exercise(more on this in a minute), and maybe have people over occasionally. Some things have to sort themselves out before I can take this step, but I don’t want to lose sight of the desire to have my independence again.
The last thing I’m going to put on this list is weight loss. I’ve been putting this off long enough. Mostly because of a lack of energy, but I’ve also just made plenty of excuses as to why I couldn’t exercise. This is a step that I am currently working on, and trying to get into a routine of getting myself moving. I need to do this for many reasons. My physical health, my mental health, and to try to get off medicines that I’m on. The main reason though, is because I want my outside to feel like my inside. I’ve been feeling better and better about who I am inside, and feeling worse and worse about what I see outside.
For now, that’s the list. I may have some stuff I want to keep private, but these are the main points for me to work on in the future. It’s a lot to take on, and I’m very scared to go toe-to-toe with my anxiety, but I need to, so I can wrestle my life back and start living again.
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